did they see me run? its raining, i am running and laughing, i am trying to get to you, i can see you through the rain, the bottle spilled in the back...now they will know. my sandals are wet, you are mad, tell me to take them off. "i have never been so alone, and i have never been so alive.." the hills go up higher and higher, we go faster and faster, the feelings in our stomach replacing all our guilt and regret. "and there are things i would like to do, that you don't believe in, i would like to build something..." the smell is the same, the music is so loud, the lights are dimming, the porch is full and the laughter drowns out the tears. i look you in the eye and say, it was always you. you smile and laugh, and hug me, you know i am drunk. "and there's this burning, there is this burning..." i am driving away tomorrow, you know it and i know it. i wont be back. we lay on the deck, of the place we grew. you said we would leave from here, just us, and go forever.the smoke floats above us, and inside i ask so desperately that time will stop for a minute. or an hour. or a day. i squeeze your hand, get up and leave. we have not touched since that day "that's when i knew, that i could never have you, i knew that before you did""there is this burning, like there's always been, i have never been so alone, and i have never been so alive"