i started my first blog right around this time 3 years ago...this was my first ever post...

if i could stop...obessing, and just breathe i would

if i could become.....whatever i wanted to be with no limits, i would

if i could quit......this addiction that is controlling me, i would
if i could wear......my new Ugg boots, i would smile

if i could see.....me niece right now, i would do anything

if i could feel...what it feels like to you, i would

if i could turn....this eminem song down i wouldn't

if i could smell.....you over the scent of plumeria and wild roses right now, i would

if i could taste.....anything without guilt, my life would be different
if i could tell.....them how much i want to forgive them (but haven't), i would
if i could ask......Him one question, what would it be?
if i could believe.....just a little more

and three years later:

if i could stop...feeling and hearing you in my head, i would be free

if i could become.....the girl i tell others girls to be like, i would believe

if i could quit......always wanting, i would
if i could wear......board shorts and flip flops right now...it would be warm out

if i could see.....the ocean right now, i would do anything

if i could feel...what you tell me to believe, it would be easier

if i could turn....this Mat Kearny album down i still wouldn't

if i could smell.....Gap Dream i would be with jojo

if i could taste.....vodka.................
if i could tell.....you what happened, i could breath again
if i could ask......to go back, would i ?
if i could believe.....that healing really comes to the broken places first.....